Mississippi-Mud Forums

Subject: camping

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and
fishing trip. Two days before the group is to leave Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire.

"WOW man," they say; "how long have you been here and how did you talk your
wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'? I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen
candles and rose petals all over. "

"She had put handcuffs and ropes on the bed ! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said 'do whatever you want.'"

"And here I am. "

And then the divorce papers were served! lol

Yazoojeeper Wrote:And then the divorce papers were served! lol

I was expecting "and that's when the fight started"

One time, there was this guy that was fed up with city living. He decided to buy a little spot of land out in the wilderness and surround himself with nature and it's beauty. So he did... he bought a nice little cabin so far out in the wilderness that the mail only ran every three months. He made a trip to the market once every two months because it was such a long drive. Well, after 6 months, loneliness began to set in. He was wondering if he had made a mistake by making this drastic move. One day, a loud wrap sounded off at his door. He ran to see who it was since it had been so long since he had been in the company of other people. He opened the door and to his surprise, was this big burly man. He stood 6' 8" tall, had a long matted beard, rotten teeth, blood shot eyes, nasty and torn clothes. This guy startled the new woodsman but he was desperate for some company.
The big mountain man spoke in a very rough and deep voice, saying, "I'm gonna have a party at my house".
"Wow, a party" said Jim (we'll call him Jim) "I haven't' been to a party in so long, I've forgotten what to do".
"Just come on over Saturday", said the mountain man (MM for short)
"Okay, I'll be there" said Jim.
"Just so you know, they'll be lots of drinkin" said MM
"Well, I haven't been out drinkin in quite a while, but I can probably stand up to the best of em", said Jim.
"Just so you know", said MM, "they'll be lots of cussing too".
"Well, hey, that's okay" said Jim. "I can absorb the talk and hang with the best of em".
"And just so you know, they'll probably be a fight or two break out", said MM.
"That's okay too" said Jim, "I'm probably as tough as many".
"And they'll be lots of wild sex" said MM.
"Hey, I've been out here so long without that, it'll be a welcome attraction to the party" said Jim. "But what do I wear?"
"It's don't matter what you wear. Ain't gonna be nobody there but me and you".

Yikes!!!!